With this country experiencing such a major transformation it is hardly surprising that I find myself also at a point in my life when I find myself considering the prospect of change on a personal level. Like so many people I manage to hold on to the status quo for a while and even manage to fall into a rut with alarming regularity but eventually some signal goes off saying that things need to change. This is where I find myself now.
I have been in the same profession ( writing and media) for over two decades so I doubt I can do much to change that but there are other aspects of my life that needs good jolt. I have been living in the same country for a long time now and yet I have the ability to live anywhere in Europe or Canada. I find myself lately pondering my odd decision to park my wagon in a place that lacks so many of the things I value. I get incredible joy from simple things like antique bookshops, alternative theatre, open air markets that aren’t a menagerie of flying insects, high streets where I can walk without fearing for my life and food stores that offer things that fascinate me. Perhaps it is time to ponder a change of location? But then the ugly spectre of age and radical change rears its ugly head. Thankfully, I have always been able to make decisions ignoring logic.
It might also be possible for me to change companies. I would never change Fodor’s because that is more of a pleasure for me than anything else but I have been at my other job longer than I have ever stayed at any job. The problem is that I really love the people I work with even though I think not having a weekend off ( not counting vacations) in four years is a bit of a bother. Maybe I just need to break from that aspect of media completely? I don’t have the answers right now but I know they will come as they always do.
There are probably other areas for change but they will reveal themselves in time. I find flux to be both depressing and exciting. It is like that awful feeling you have when you are sitting amidst the packed boxes in your old home waiting to head to your new one. There is the sad feeling that your centre of stability is gone but there is also the hope that there is a better world ahead.
We shall see.