In the mouth of madness

 

 

It was the best of times, it was the worst of time. Now that I have that out of my system I can proceed with the rest of this entry. I am typing this on my newest Mac…now known as Sybil because she has more than one processor. Funny how the thrill of typing on iWeb on a different keyboard and screen and overlooked by the gimlet eye of Ophelia the iMac can give me such a thrill. I feel like I am cheating but the excitement is undeniable and the repercussions will undoubtedly be far less messy than if she were an actual person.

 

Today I had Conrad Enill, Minister of Energy and Energy Industries on the programme. He is also Leader of Government Business in the Senate and so i was able to ask him questions about the recent decision to stop televising the hearings of the JSCs live. He says the broadcasts were in violation of the standing orders but swears the government has no problem with the concept of airing them and is looking at changing the legislation. I am not sure if I believe that line but he said it earnestly so who am I to doubt…just a mere taxpaying citizen. He also discussed the situation with development in the country and for our energy security in the future all of which was most interesting. He is one of the few Ministers that I could happily enjoy talking to for hours off the air as he is conversant with a number of things relevant to the energy and financial sectors. I actually told him I find him far more straightforward than most politicians and any Minister…best to be honest ahead of time.

 

I also discussed a few documentaries I plan to do with Tony who was most accommodating and eager to get them off the ground. I love news but sometimes creativity is best served by adding some other challenges. My first attempt will be to look at the Lapeyrouse Cemetery in the heart of Port of Spain which I think provides a tremendous insight into the history of Trinidad & Tobago.

 

As much as I am concerned about the perils of climate change and saving the planet I have noticed that , while not exactly an energy pig, I am hardly a good example of living a life of carbon neutrality. Generally speaking I am not really neutral on anything ( except possibly a fondness for ecru) but I have come to realize  I have something of a Sasquatch footprint when it comes to carbon. Despite living alone my fondness for electric appliances, air conditioning and several power hungry Macs means my average power bill is about double that of an average family. My Mondeo, god bless her, is a good size and comfy but at 5 km to the litre she is not exactly sipping gasoline as I realize when I pump 25 litres to fill a quarter tank every week or so. The latter situation is destined to get worse as I have decided I will indulge a childhood dream by planning to import a 1973 Lincoln Continental Mark IV into the country within a year. the 22 foot long beast ( pictured at the top of this entry), weighs 6,000lbs and ( apparently) gets 5.5 mpg or about 1.5 km per litre. Still, the thought of this car makes my heart skip a beat and I am not going to live forever so why not own the road-yacht of my dreams? I know such slaps to the face of Mother Nature will hardly be counteracted by my feeble attempts to turn off lights I am not using and recycling plastic bags but then, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

 

Off to sleep to dream of 7.5L V8s.

A necessary evil.

It was a good day today as I enjoyed a day off TV thanks to Vashtee being back in the newsroom after dealing with a family emergency in the States. I used the time to sleep in a little bit and then get to work on Fodor’s Curacao while listening to Amy Winehouse. I eventually had to run out to pay the light bill as I thought it was overdue only to realize as I paid it in the bank that it was actually current ( no pun intended). An interesting thing I noticed on heading to the bank was that I realized I had forgotten my mobile phone halfway out of Cascade and turned back to get it. Given the bank trip was only going to be a 45 minute adventure it seems odd that I would not just leave it home and continue on but such is the impact communication has in our lives.

As a media person and a writer I basically earn my living from communicating ideas to the public. In my view, though, my form of communication is just one aspect of the barrage of communications we are all exposed to in our daily lives. Long gone are the days when we waited for a newspaper to find out the latest now we just Google it. Heck, even we news people use the internet for some news gathering now. It used to be that once we left our house we could only stay in touch  by finding a pay phone and hoping the other party was either at work or at home otherwise you were totally out of luck. Not today. With the ubiquity of the cell phone it is now possible to stay in touch whenever you want. I am not sure that is a good thing in any way as other than in the case of an actual emergency why do we need to be yapping on the phone while driving or having the office be able to reach you when you are at the beach for a weekend?

Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a fan of talking on the phone at the best of times but my job requires that I be reachable by all and sundry. I never know if the call coming in is a news story, the CEO calling or, as frequently happens, a government official. I also get calls from friends ( which are blessedly brief) but they are the exception. I used to hate even having a mobile on my person until last year when I finally spent the money and bought my present phone.

It came after I had been working 3 months 7 days a week without a break and was at the point where I was getting nosebleeds from the strain. My mobile rang and I answered it only to have the wretched thing cut off and reboot for no reason. After fighting with the awful device for almost a year and being frustrated beyond belief sending texts messages on it ( it is sometimes more convenient in meetings to text and means i don’t have to speak to an actual human) I knew it was time for a change.  I walked into the cell store on the corner thinking I would spend maybe $500 and get a slightly more useful phone when my eyes fell on my current phone and it seemed to be calling my name. It is the Samsung D900 aka Black Carbon and it is a slider phone so it has that lovely satisfying opening and closing action. It was gorgeous ( I think it still is) and after plonking down about $3,000 she was mine. I love everything about the phone from its sexy looks to the menus and the whole interface works for me. It even has some nifty features for world travelers such as a screen picture that changes depending on what country or city you land in. It was quite a shock the first time I turned it on in Toronto and saw the Toronto skyline as my screen…it sort of makes you want to travel the world just to see the pictures. I also like the fact I don’t have to squint to see how many bars of reception I have as the changing tapestry of clouds in the sky on my desktop indicates my present reception. It also has a pretty amazing media player so I can watch entire movies on it which is handy on a plane.I love Apple but Samsung won me over with this phone.

Off to the gym tomorrow heaven help me.

Journey through the vortex.

This is meant to be a short entry as i take a bit of a break from Fodor’s Aruba. It was a different day in this post Carnival period. I was really depressed today but I managed to not break into tears…so yaay for me. I took the bull by the horns and spoke to Tony about my mental state of late and I must say he was pretty incredible. I will not repeat his words but he was supportive and genuinely concerned.

News went very well and the reporters and editors got everything in early so the actual broadcast was stress free. I just wish I didn’t feel so awful lately because other than my brain telling my body to feel gripped in a knot of imminent disaster…things were great. I was really happy with our newscasts and I don’t care what anyone says to the contrary.

Other than that I foolishly decided in my depressed state to call Mom. I have since advised Binky, Grommit and Peter Police to stop me from doing anything so foolish in the future. If I was depressed before I was pretty close to wrist slashing after. Mum has her own battles to face but after a certain point I had to ask her if she thought that telling depressing things to a depressed person was the wisest thing to do. At which point she brought up some even more depressing incidents from my past. I finally told her what I said in my blog earlier…that it is better I pretend I have a perfect family in Toronto than deal with the reality of what I have. So now I have to hide any sharp objects in the vicinity.

Otherwise I have had some really supportive people around. I must say Peggy has been incredible because she understands the process ( and YAAAAAY for the launch of her amazing book yesterday), Binky has been a rock for me, Alvie has been his usual self but not bad. Despite Rob, Peter and Naz missing I did pretty well. For some reason I always miss Rob the most. He can’t handle emotions well, he is totally at sea…but he is still just an amazing person in his own weird way. Sorry this is such a boring post…but it is my life.

Nose Breathing

Generally speaking, my reflections on work are of a happy nature full of musings about bonhomie and getting news out on time. Today I had one of the worst days I have ever had at work and it is in no way related to the newsroom staff. Given I have been producing news since Moses was in nappies I am not in the habit of taking criticisms of my judgement lightly and I am especially not fond of being found essentially faultless but having to now face the prospect of working even longer hours in my indefinite 7 day a week work schedule. Were I living in an option free world i might be in an even worse mental state than I have been in since earlier this evening. I will not give the details of my experience here but, while I recognize that others may be under stress, there is no need to spread the stress to innocent bystanders. Enough said…I am a professional and will handle my problems in a professional manner.

Moving on to other subjects. I am now counting the hours for Carnival to end and get the hell out of my face. The traffic, steelpans parked in the roadways, flocks of JCBs ( just come backs) and hordes of tourists clogging my HiLo is driving me crazy. I almost want to say “welcome to Trinidad now hurry up, sleep around and go the hell back where you came from”! I have been feeling a bit down this evening because of the aforementioned and my general mood lately so I think a list would do me good. Let’s talk about my list of things I don’t need in my life of late..here is Vern’s list of things not needed on the voyage:

1. 1. Condoms or anything even remotely related to sex.

2. 2.More soca music

3. 3. Another peep from the Mondeo

4. 4. Anybody new in my life under the age of 30. I am still dealing with the slew I have.

5. 5.More junk in my condo.

6. 6.Drama of any sort not related to a film or theatrical production.

7. 7.People who think that pondering what fete to attend is really an intellectual pursuit.

8. 8. Freeloaders.

9. 9. Jesus freaks explaining to me why I have to be saved.

10. 10.More work.

That has me feeling much better already. Someone should write a book on “Blogging as Catharsis”.

Other than that in news of  friends … Robin is off to Guyana and Brazil for Carnival ( the Amazon not  Rio), Omar/Grommit is in Tribe fete, Astrid is in bed, Binky and Muz are home ( I assume), Steve is also in Tribe fete and Peter and Naz are in places unknown..though they are in Las Vegas for Carnival.

I hope tomorrow is a better day and i must say thanks to my cuz Peggy for making more sense than I have seen in a long time.

 

Out of the Depths

Back home now after a day of producing news and then an 8pm ieNews meeting with the CEO and staff. Meetings drain me in a way that I cannot fully explain and a 2 hour meeting is like torture. I know we have to have them to improve our product and Tony Maharaj actually holds a great meeting but to my mind it is still a meeting. I sit there waiting for the inevitable sniping and I got a bit of it sent in my direction but really not a lot. In all the media houses I have worked for the usual complaint about me is that in order to get the job done I can be a bit cavalier when it comes to the feelings of staff. I know it is in my nature but to be honest I have never seen news as a chance to make friends and develop that warm fuzzy feeling. It is all about getting the job done. Being quite thick skinned myself it amazes me that people don’t just recognize that what I say in the heat of getting a newscast on is not to be taken personally.  To his credit Tony actually explained that to staff saying he has known me for a long time and he knows how I operate so people should adjust to my method a little bit. It is always nice to have a CEO who understands you…if you ever get one…chain yourself to the company and stay there forever.

In all fairness to the crew, though, most of their concern was not directed towards me.  My feeling is they should notice I get the news on in a timely way with minimal stress to the staff and technical crew and they all get to go home earlier…to me that must count for something.

We carried an item of news about Guyana that rather interestingly reflects my sentiments in yesterday’s entry in that an expert in Guyana is suggesting the recent killing of 11 people there may lead to further ethnic conflict.  This was coupled with the coincidence that I had the President of the Global Organisation for  People of Indian Origin ( GOPIO) T&T chapter in for an interview today as well. I am sure his organisation has many good points but I still don’t understand what an Indian from India and an Indian from Trinidad or , for that matter Guyana or Fiji, have in common. Other than appearance I don’t see what the heck they have to sit around and talk about. As I told the guest, sure Trini Indians may loudly announce they are Indo Trinidadians here and vote for the UNC but let them migrate to the US or Canada and watch how quickly they run out and buy an “I am a Trini” t-shirt.

Other than that I chatted with Binky today who is always supportive and is like a mini-me, saw Omar briefly, was invited for drinks by Alvie ( I was too tired after the meeting) and did the usual check-ins with Robin and Peter. Whatever the ups and downs of my days some things are as predictable as sunrise and sunset.

The Write Stuff

When I started this little online diary a few months ago I said I would try to put up the occasional blog entry. Having become almost addicted to a near daily update I seldom even think that anyone even reads what i write. Having created this mirror site ( which is rapidly becoming my entry point to the blog because it is more  convenient) I now have access to all the site stats that WordPress provides. It amazes me how many hits this site actually gets. Between the two sites over 2000 pages have been read and as of yesterday the .Mac site crossed 1000 hits and the WordPress figure, which started much much later is already in excess of that and climbing rapidly. The fact that so many people read amazes me but WordPress also allows me to see what pages people read and how they came to the site..which is even more interesting.  Google started indexing my pages a while back and quite a large percentage of my readers apparently find the site through Google. It is interesting to see whaat they search for as well. People search for the names of some of my interview subjects, for the names of ieTV staff members, for Carnival related subjects and my favourite…someone who searched for “being hogtied “. I also notice that the tags I place on the entries can make a real difference to the number of page reads. When I did one of my entries on the diversity of my friends and used the word “gay” as a tag the hits skyrocketed. I guess there are a number of people out there who actively search out specific themes and want to know about regional developments in that area of interest. Given that there are any number of things I could write about  I suppose it sometimes affects what I choose when I realize that readers prefer certain subjects. I am happy to oblige. Other than that I stayed home today as the flu still has me feverish though given my previously stated belief that it is similar to sex..I should take what I can get. I used the time to do laundry, work on Fodors and ponder the uselessness of existence…all the while feeling guilty that I was actually not at ieTV. I took a break to go to HiLo to get medication and to give Omar a lift from downtown to the Cascadia Hotel where is currently working with a Carnival Mas Camp…why they would pick such a oddly located distribution point I will never know. After that brief expedition and a rather puzzling call and hangup from a good friend I came back home and went back to Fodors till my back could take no more at the keyboard. Whatever guilt I may have felt about taking a day off ( so I only worked 6 days this week) was quickly dismissed when Vashtee called from work to say that her sister was diagnosed with a medical problem in the States and she had to fly out on Friday to be with her. Vash has been off for various reasons in the past and it means that I have to fill the gap and produce the weekday and weekend news in addition to my One on One interviews and whatever special projects Tony Maharaj needs done. I love work..but after doing that for almost 3 months non-stop last year i ended up getting nosebleeds from the strain on my body. I hope it will be of a shorter duration this time..thank heavens for a great crew.  My new work schedule starts tomorrow so wish me luck. I will update the .Mac site tomorrow.   

Getting out of gear

Well it finally happened me and The Hearse are finally reunited after a month apart. I must say after paying the mechanics and taking control of her again it was a very strange experience getting used to her feel. Whereas the Suzuki is light and nimble getting the Mondeo onto the road felt like steering my living room. I was immediately conscious that I was guiding 2 tons of metal on the road.  Turning required minutes of planning and trying to estimate the back of the car which is about 18 feet long almost requires a navigator. The low driving position also took a while to get used to. It is funny how quickly one can get used to a different vehicle. It is nice having the comfortable suspension and  automatic shift though so I am getting used to her again. I was still sick today, sicker if anything, but I had agreed to produce the news today for Vashtee and figured I would just sit there fevered until the planned news meeting at 8pm.  The news was almost done and I dashed off in the Suzuki ( wasn’t comfortable with the Mondeo yet) to pick up Grommit and drop him to the Cascadia Hotel since he had no other way of getting there. Got back in time to see Giselle had her newscast and take more pills as my fever was ramping up again. Somewhere in there Tony decided that there was no point having a news meeting if Vash wasn’t there and we had two cameramen out so we postponed it till next week. Typical of us. That meant I could return the Toco keys to Robin and pick up Grommit at the hotel to drop him to catch his taxi as the hotel is only a couple of minutes from my place. Sitting here now wondering what will happen if I let the  fever keep building..will I spontaneously combust? Perhaps I will melt into my chaise? I suppose it is best not to explore some possibilities as brain damage seems a more likely outcome. I find fevers fascinating as I invariably think back to other fevers i have had in my life. There is something disturbing yet oddly fascinating about the jangly nerves and the galvanic skin response that fevers induce. I find there is an almost sexual quality to the feeling..not quite …but there is a definite nexus. Sad to see that actor Heath Ledger apparently committed suicide today at the age of 28. Even in the most apparently charmed of lives there  may be demons lurking.

Uphill

It was a good but different day at ieNews today. I called the newsroom before I got there and Melissa Wong told me things were dry so i started to worry about having to pad but when i called back an hour later we were almost overflowing with news. News and particularly weekend news is a strange beast that was. By the time I arrived there was a good selection of stories and things were looking good. I lined up the newscast trying my best to ensure that adjoining stories were by different reporters..not an easy matter when we only have two working today. So things were going well and I was keeping an eye on a pending story following up on a 15 year old boy who was beaten to death with a cricket bat with a male relative waiting for the footage to come in. When the cameraman came back and Melissa looked at it she called me over and we realized we had an interesting situation on our hands. Our cameraman was the only one with the family when a male relative called in to one of the family relatives cell phones and she put it on speaker. After listening I realised we had a confession on our hands and an additional threat to other members of the family. An interesting situation where the news station actually captures news but with several interesting legal questions that arose.

What to do? Melissa and I listened again as Giselle continued to churn out stories that she was destined to read at 6:30 as I had opted to read Sunday news. We eventually decided that we couldn’t carry the sound clips because the other party was not aware he was being recorded and we couldn’t verify that it was the actual person calling. There was a confession involved so I called my police contact ( after dubbing the tape and hiding the master just in case) and he had another officer call me to ask for a dub. By this time we had word the man had surrendered to police but our material could clearly be of great importance in a case. We carried the story as #2 in our lineup concentrating on a family living in fear while a killer was still on the loose. Once I get legal advice I may carry some of the footage tomorrow before it all becomes sub judice.

As news was about to go on and all our stories were in my cell rang and it was Sheppard calling to invite me to an impromptu small dinner up Ft George Hill. When Peter and Naz invite me for dinner I seldom say no. Naz is a great cook and their home is wonderful not because it is grand but because it isn’t and yet they have turned it into something wonderful. It was to be just Peter and Naz and me and Robin but eventually Shalimar and Felix became part of the event. I arrived after the news and Naz and I nibbled artichokes, cheese and crackers. Eventually the rest of the group arrived and it was a pleasant evening with much conversation and dishing the dirt. Omar aka Grommit called at around 11pm to say he and Brent were off to a lime ( Trini parlance for hanging out..but somehow more than that) at Sky so I wished them both well. With the strains of the Temperature fete at the stadium wafting up the hill and possibly also the sounds of the Out of the Blue fete at QRC I realised it was after midnight and I bid adieu to one and all and now am back home blogging to you.

Off to bed now…noticing that Flow is working again. I used to think “I live here but I am not of here” ..I give up on that one…I now say I live here and I wish I could strangle several companies.

Family Day

A short blog to do as i am not feeling terribly expressive and, like Bauhaus and Apple, I firmly believe less is often more. Tony treated the company to a delayed post-election coverage lunch today at Shanghai Experience ( or is that Shanghai Surprise..nope..that was a bad movie with Madonna). Given our normal state of disorganization and the need to cover news there was a surprisingly large turnout of both our radio and TV teams.

We seldom get together as a group and when we do it is always fun. The Company has a bizarre and colourful cast of characters  that can be enormously entertaining when they are set loose at once. Add a bit of free food to the mix and you end up with an excellent lunch hour…or 2 as it turned out. Tony our CEo was there but since we aren’t the BBC and he is very much a regular guy so rather than making us watch our words his presence just added to the fun. There were the usual radio folks versus TV folks jokes, much sexual innuendo and a generous helping of making fun of people out of earshot. I am glad I went.

My obsessive behaviour is rearing its ugly head again as I have been fixated all day with the idea of buying a Wii. I am not a game player in any way but it is such a nice looking thing and apparently it can also give you a good workout…the perfect justification.