“His favorite songs were Nat King Cole’s “Smile” and Bobby Darin’s “Beyond the Sea,” and he listened to Mozart in the shower. His favorite stop in Bakersfield was Barnes & Noble; he liked James Herriot’s books about animals.
He was a gentle child, they say, who preferred to “relocate bugs” rather than kill them, who made sure his younger brother got his share of Easter eggs and who once apologized to a bed of flowers when he picked one and placed it on the grave of the family dog.”
L A Times
They were not just numbers or faceless statistics. Every kid who is bullied into suicide is an amazing life with unbelievable potential. This column from the Los Angeles Times is a touching insight into the short life of little Seth Walsh through the eyes of his grandparents. It should be required reading. TIME also has an excellent article on Seth remembered. At least his little heart is still beating in the chest of a boy in LA whose life his donation helped save.
My brother , who is a Police Officer in Toronto, sent me a text earlier to say “There’s a march going on through my division right now in relation to suicide by gay kids.” Knowing him he would have been right there protecting them. Mind you, it isn’t usually an issue in TO but I pity any bully he happens to run across.
This evening I saw Anderson Cooper interview Chris Armstrong , the university student who is student assembly president at the University of Michigan and is being cyber-bullied by the peculiar ( can you say issues boys and girls?) Michigan Asst. Atty General. He said he didn’t want to be speaking out about a personal matter but the spate of suicides such as Seth, Asher and Tyler made him think he should speak out. So in many ways the tragic loss of these young and potentially beautiful lives has not been in vain. It has encouraged activism and thanks to the media ( of which I am part and now happier than ever to be part of) significant and unrelenting coverage of the long standing issue is getting attention.
Today it also came to my attention ,via Facebook and my dear friend Alvin, that some strange US based “His Way Out” Ex-Gay group is coming here soon. They plan to run around spreading hate to the few who will listen and even have a meeting planned with the new Port of Spain Mayor whose party isn’t exactly known for its spirited stance on diversity. Great timing fools! If the US has a problem with suicide and they are a lot more advanced – how do you think that will affect kids here where they feel even more isolated? Oh right – they don’t give a damn. Any young blood spilled will just be collateral damage in their quest to change human nature. I will not even dignify them by linking to their god awful site. Apparently, though, there is a protest planned so that will be a first for T&T. I hope they realize they are probably going to hell too for eating shrimp – it is an abomination – from the same Leviticus they love to quote.
As a result of this development my pal Alvin posted his views and people commented – resulting in this exchange:
Naturally, I responded with this:
I know I shouldn’t be so brash …oh wait…I should.
On a lighter note I missed Margaret Cho on DWTS . This is not surprising as I don’t watch the programme – but I love her humour. It seems dear Margaret decided to go all out in her last venture :
Way to live loud Margaret!
Don’t forget on October 20, 2010 – wear purple in honour ( honor for my American friends) of those countless kids who have died as a result of bullying and to celebrate Spirit Day. I will be wearing it on camera.
I have one brother who I love very much and despite the usual arguments over the years we have a strong bond. He posted the following as a comment on one of my entries about bullying. It has touched me so much that I thought I should share it as a separate entry all by itself. May everyone be as blessed as me with a family that loves them.
“Vern , you should be exceptionally proud of who you are and what you have achieved….I am exceptionally proud of you and always will be….In the End , the opinion of those who TRULY know you is worth a thousand time more than the opinion of MORONS…I believe in God and I believe in Evolution ; Evolution is like a wave , some of us who choose to live our lives being caring and tolerant of others are at the front of the wave , those who choose to live their lives full of hate and intolerence are at the far ends of the wave. Do not hate these people Vernon, they are victims of their limited intellects , trapped in boxes ; hating them is like hating someone with downs sydrome. Having said that I wish I had known way back when that you were being assaulted – I would have dealt with it at the “street justice” level. Love yuh bro….. Big little brother”
As is was walking this evening I had an unexpected moment. It was only 5 minutes in so endorphins have nothing to do with it – I was overwhelmed with joy. I don’t know why it happened but it did. I felt joy flowing all over me for the first time in a long time and I was happy for it. My wrists might have moved. I don’t know.
I thought about it and I have come up with a few conclusions. I think it was because I have survived. I have lived life this long and proved I have worth. In my other life I am someone on their TV who exists to interview people. In my real life I have survived being ridiculed and physically attacked so many times I lost count. The spate of teenage suicides has made me talk about things to my friends. I didn’t realise that I never spoke about these matters even with my closest friends. And as I related my slowly returning memories to them they each said it went a long way to explaining why I am the person I am today. Catharsis feels good.
The suicide of those many gay or perceived gay kids in the last week in the US forced me to think about my past. So Asher and Seth you made an older person confront things. My friends – and I adore them – said that , like me – if they had 5 cents for every time they were called names – they would all be rich by now. So when people ask me why I care – Duh. It only ended at the University of Toronto. It was the first time in my life I didn’t fear going to school. And it led to my passion for media.
I survived my childhood and now have a job I love. I look at my adopted country Canada and how far it has come in accepting human nature in all its wonderful diversity and I know there must be hope for this part of the world too. I can only imagine the number of kids here who have no place to go and need help. Life is often cruel but how we try to stop that cruelty is a measure of our humanity . I plan to be more human.
And having watched 8 : the mormon proposition I am so angry I can’t describe. – it prompted this late night gut spilling.
Remember to wear Purple on the 20th. We can make a difference.
