Archive for September 8th, 2007

September 8, 2007

UNHOLY LIVESTOCK BATMAN!!

I do not plan to make a habit of posting twice on one day as that can lead to burnout and possibly incontinence but I had to read a news story tonight that almost rendered me speechless. Just when my well-insulated lifestyle leads me to muse that maybe we are almost a first world country I get hit with one of these stories.


Deep in the South of Trinidad in a village called Granville near the toe of the island strange things are going on. Before you read on I should warn you that this story involves a supernatural goat so gird your loins ( though lamb loins are always preferable). It seems a short while a go a woman from the village started hearing voices telling her to kill herself and her daughter. Perhaps she had one of those Joan of Arc hearing aids installed I do not know. In any case, she actually killed herself. Since then, apparently, a ghostly goat sporting a gold chain has been making appearances  grazing in the bushes of the area at night. Still dealing with this rather macabre spectacle, other people in the village have now been overwhelmed by an evil force urging them to kill themselves and their children. I know what you are saying, it is a UNC area – this all sounds normal, but in these  changeable political times we should avoid such smugness. Now, had the evil force told them to nod their heads repeatedly, we might be able to make a quick guess as to who is behind it – but I digress. The circumstances sound suspiciously like those of Salem preceding the famous witch hunts and in that case it seems to have been a case of group hysteria or, some have speculated, some form of environmental contamination leading to delusions. I will be the first to confess I have zero belief in anything supernatural as the natural world is more than complex enough to account for anything.


Not willing to take malevolent voices and bling wearing goats with insouciance the villagers have called in the big guns in the form of an inter-faith exorcism posse. A pundit ( who is also the local policeman) , and a motley assortment of other religious leaders have used their good office to send  the goat and evil force their marching papers. The evil billy has not been seen for two days since the ceremony but the team of rural ghostbusters is assuring the village that should they dare to reappear they have an arsenal of even more powerful incantations at the ready.

 

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September 8, 2007

IT’S A BIRD..IT’S A PLANE..IT’S LOTS OF TALL BUILDINGS!

It is a little known and under-appreciated fact that the way to improve a society and to advance its development is by constructing many tall buildings in the already congested capital. Thankfully, our  leaders are privy to this bit of info and have been working feverishly on our behalf to ensure we will not play second fiddle to anyone in elevators per capita. Those nattering nabobs of negativity ( thank you Spiro) who insist on banging on about downtown roads already resembling Marrakech  market during a lamb sale are missing the point. If we have pretty tall buildings we will , like the PM, be able to look up all the time and avoid the ugliness at ground level.By the end of the current exercise we will have a total of nineteen skyscrapers and, presumably, things will be just hunky dory for us all. My only concern is that all this…ahem..erection..going on may be some form of phallic compensation which may explain why our illustrious Education Minister always seems to have that sadness tinged smile on her face.


I will admit that the circumference of my normal world is rather small ranging from Cascade to Tragarete Rd in uptown Port of Spain. My infrequent forays into the greater world are always something of a revelation. I had to go to the airport a while back and was shocked by the changing look of downtown. I was also shocked that the traffic made my trip to the airport a 2.5 hour ordeal. The Mondeo is comfortable enough but the frustration of being stuck on a road surrounded by unattractive people driving Nissan B-somethings did not make for a pleasant experience. I will admit I was able to read a chapter of Anthony Bourdain’s “Nasty Bits” while inching along which helped ease my frustration.


Back to work now. Not a bad news day for a Saturday, two dead and two on shaky ground after a wappy game went bad and another person killed in Arima. Murder rate for the year is now 226.