Posts tagged ‘Asher’

October 6, 2010

An unexpected moment of joy.

As is was walking this evening I had an unexpected moment. It was only 5 minutes in so endorphins have nothing to do with it – I was overwhelmed with joy. I don’t know why it happened but it did.  I felt joy flowing all over me  for the first time in a long time and I was happy for it. My wrists might have moved. I don’t know.

I thought about it and I have come up with a few conclusions. I think it was because I have survived. I have lived life this long and proved I have worth. In my other life I am someone on their TV who exists to interview people. In my real life I have survived  being ridiculed and physically attacked so many times I lost count. The spate of teenage suicides  has made me talk about things to my friends. I didn’t realise that I never spoke about these matters even with my closest friends. And as I related my slowly returning memories to them they each said it went a long way to explaining why I am the person I am today. Catharsis feels good.

The suicide of  those many gay  or  perceived gay kids in the last week in the US forced me to think about my past. So  Asher and Seth you made an older person confront things. My friends – and I adore them – said that , like me – if  they  had 5 cents for every time they were called names – they would all be rich by now.    So when people ask me why I care – Duh.  It only ended at the University of  Toronto. It was the first time in my life I didn’t fear going to school. And it led to my passion for media.

I survived my childhood and now have a job I love.   I look at my adopted country Canada and how far it has come in accepting   human nature  in all its wonderful diversity and I know there must be hope for this part of the world too. I can only imagine the number of kids here who have no place to go and need help.  Life is often cruel but how we try to stop that cruelty is a measure of our humanity . I plan to be more human.

And having watched 8 : the mormon proposition  I am so angry I can’t describe. – it prompted this late night gut spilling.

Remember  to wear  Purple on the 20th. We can make a difference.

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October 5, 2010

Spirit Day – Oct 20th, 2010

I suspect these poor kids are  just the ones we know about. On October 20th, 2010 wear purple in memory of those who are no longer with us because of bullying and hatred.

Just get involved.

No man is an island,
Entire of itself.
Each is a piece of the continent,
A part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea,
Europe is the less.
As well as if a promontory were.
As well as if a manner of thine own
Or of thine friend’s were.
Each man’s death diminishes me,
For I am involved in mankind.
Therefore, send not to know
For whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee.

John Donne

October 3, 2010

Good for you.

To everybody who has asked me why I am so upset about bullying and serial blogging about it – including one of my best friends. I am glad you were never beaten up as a kid in school. I was. I am glad you weren’t. I want to use the F word but I will refrain. Interestingly, it was in #Toronto where you would least expect it .

And yes, I did try to kill myself at least twice. But I survived the name calling and punching and I am stronger for it. To those who called me names and hit me many times I say :  Fuck you!  I hope your lives are miserable – which they probably are. And to those who ask why I am blogging about something so personal. Well, if it stops just one random gay or straight  kid  who happens to seem different from killing himself or herself  and ending a proud and amazing life it will be worth it.

And another reason for me to be angry.