How was my day you ask? Well, it started with me leaving home for the newsroom to discover that the Queen’s Park Savannah had been turned into a two way roundabout with disastrous effects. The small roundabout that branches off the Savannah into St. Ann’s /Cascade turned into a complete log jam and the police on the scene failed to bring any semblance of order to the 4 lanes of traffic that suddenly converged on each other. The end result was that I was stressed and ended up taking an hour to drive the usual 7 minute stretch to work. Lovely. Every year the revelation that carnival results in a snarl seems to come as a complete surprise to everyone.
Nonetheless I got through the day, read the news and made it back home using the now inexplicably one-way Savannah. The usual signs were there of inconsiderate behaviour and a general lawlessness over and above the usually lawless atmosphere around these parts. Vendors were setting up stalls on the sidewalks forcing pedestrians to walk in the road. Beer companies were plastering private buildings with their bunting without permission ( including ours) and music was blaring for no reason whatsoever from establishments lining the road. This meant we had the usual Carnival combo of ridiculous ( and unnecessary given nothing was happening uptown) noise levels and complete traffic gridlock.
This brings me to my list for today. I present you with my 10 reasons I love Carnival and 10 reasons I hate carnival.
10 Reasons I love Carnival
1. Mocking tourists is fun for the whole family.
2. Corn soup is everywhere and who doesn’t love corn soup?
3. Traditional Carnival characters like Jab Jab, Burrokeets and Midnight Robber ( they still scare me).
4. Beautiful bands like MacFarlane that give me faith that the spirit of Carnival is not dead.
5. Seeing my friends drunk and happy.
6. Seeing my couple friends fight and break up for the weekend ( it’s a Carnival tradition)
7. Eye candy galore of all shapes and sizes,
8. The satisfaction of seeing that 80% of guys have far worse bodies than me.
9. The chance that I will see David Rudder in concert somewhere.
10. There are so many drunk people around that even ugly people have a chance to get laid..and that has to be a good thing.
10 Reasons I don’t like Carnival.
1. Boring bead bands like Tribe that attract those whose idea of culture is an all-inclusive 2 day fete.
2. Traffic gridlock as the the Police Traffic Branch manages to screw the pooch every year without fail.
3. Machel Montano. Many rave about him I find him ineffably dull shouting his way through every song and doing those dreary waist thrusts.
4. Noise everywhere for no reason whatsoever. Even with nobody around people blare music on the street.
5. Music trucks that seem to think they have the absolute right of way.
6. Lines for everything as thousands of tourists converge on the capital.
7. It is impossible to get in to our out of Cascade because of the busy Savannah.
8. No damned Savannah stage anymore since the effing government decided it wasn’t fancy enough and tore it down before they had a replacement. What is the point of Carnival without The Big Yard?
9. People with better bodies than me wandering about with barely any clothes on. I mean rub it in why don’t you?
10. Your friends go missing for days on end and, because they lost their cellphones while stopping to pee in a bush somewhere you can’t reach them.